I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
一 Can we have our teacher back？
Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"
能让我们的老师回去吗？
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”
二 Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
谁更有礼貌？
一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂贵的代价
牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
一 Can we have our teacher back？
Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"
能让我们的老师回去吗？
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”
二 Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
谁更有礼貌？
一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂贵的代价
牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了
温馨提示：内容为网友见解，仅供参考
第1个回答 2010-12-27
A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities. "
His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It's impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!
Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!
英文笑话：我没有蛀牙/No Cavities
小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”
妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！”
这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。？本回答被网友采纳
His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It's impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!
Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!
英文笑话：我没有蛀牙/No Cavities
小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”
妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！”
这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。？本回答被网友采纳
第2个回答 2010-12-27
Thus ugly female
There is a woman to grow strange and ugly and matchless, the man all avoid after seeing three cent.The woman contain the biggest wish, be let the person's trader kidnap, then ……hence, whenever the cope of night condescends to come, she goes back and forth then on the human footprints rarely seen country path, waiting for that engraving at that time of approach.
The effort doesn't take an observant and conscientious person, this dead hour, she is finally bound bandit by 1 to kidnap to fill into inside car.Binding the bandit takes own"victory fruit" to see bind bandit head of group, prepare inviting an achievement receives award.Bind bandit head of group however on seeing the outlooking of woman, can not help lambasting that binds bandit to has no taste, and order him to let that woman leave car immediately.Bind bandit to adhere to a son of the order let the woman get off, however the woman basically didn't meaning for getting off.Refuse to budge very long-playing, bind a bandit usage 威 to force, threaten, contuse etc. various meanses let the woman get off, however the woman didn't accept defeat always, she is to don't get off.Binding the bandit head of group sees a form, shout a way helplessly:"Calculated!The car doesn't want!" 还有一篇小笑话Ultimate ugly
A woman looked a perfect fright so that the people can intentionally give her a wide berth after seeing her.That kidnapped by trader in human beings gradually become her greatest desire.Herefrom...every time the curtain of night befalls , she always paces up and down on the village bypath that the human footmarks are rare in order to fulfil her desire that she is waiting for.
Everything comes to him who waits! One late night,she finally gets the chance that kidnapped by a kidnapper.The kidnapper who wants to ask for a higher level leading as reward is taking " fruits of victory " into a car to show to kidnapper head of a gang.However,seeing the visage of woman ,the leader can't help abusing greatly that kidnapper has no eye, and orders him to let that woman disappear from the small vehicle immediately.The kidnapper asks woman to act on the leader's command,but the woman has no idea of getting off the car at all .Therefor,the kidnapper takes many kinds of means, such as insulting、threatening and even beating up etc, to compel the woman to get off the car,but the woman who does not succumb tries her best to stay on all the time.After this case last a long time, facing the scene,the leader stands in a bewilderedness flaring up"You win,you here we go!"
There is a woman to grow strange and ugly and matchless, the man all avoid after seeing three cent.The woman contain the biggest wish, be let the person's trader kidnap, then ……hence, whenever the cope of night condescends to come, she goes back and forth then on the human footprints rarely seen country path, waiting for that engraving at that time of approach.
The effort doesn't take an observant and conscientious person, this dead hour, she is finally bound bandit by 1 to kidnap to fill into inside car.Binding the bandit takes own"victory fruit" to see bind bandit head of group, prepare inviting an achievement receives award.Bind bandit head of group however on seeing the outlooking of woman, can not help lambasting that binds bandit to has no taste, and order him to let that woman leave car immediately.Bind bandit to adhere to a son of the order let the woman get off, however the woman basically didn't meaning for getting off.Refuse to budge very long-playing, bind a bandit usage 威 to force, threaten, contuse etc. various meanses let the woman get off, however the woman didn't accept defeat always, she is to don't get off.Binding the bandit head of group sees a form, shout a way helplessly:"Calculated!The car doesn't want!" 还有一篇小笑话Ultimate ugly
A woman looked a perfect fright so that the people can intentionally give her a wide berth after seeing her.That kidnapped by trader in human beings gradually become her greatest desire.Herefrom...every time the curtain of night befalls , she always paces up and down on the village bypath that the human footmarks are rare in order to fulfil her desire that she is waiting for.
Everything comes to him who waits! One late night,she finally gets the chance that kidnapped by a kidnapper.The kidnapper who wants to ask for a higher level leading as reward is taking " fruits of victory " into a car to show to kidnapper head of a gang.However,seeing the visage of woman ,the leader can't help abusing greatly that kidnapper has no eye, and orders him to let that woman disappear from the small vehicle immediately.The kidnapper asks woman to act on the leader's command,but the woman has no idea of getting off the car at all .Therefor,the kidnapper takes many kinds of means, such as insulting、threatening and even beating up etc, to compel the woman to get off the car,but the woman who does not succumb tries her best to stay on all the time.After this case last a long time, facing the scene,the leader stands in a bewilderedness flaring up"You win,you here we go!"
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