求一个三分钟的英文小故事或笑话（带中文翻译）

Helen

Helen was the most beautiful woman of the world．She was an infamous lady．She lighted the flames of the Trojan war and brought extreme destruction on the city of Troy．Helen was the daughter of Zeus．Helen's matchless beauty and charms drew towards her many heroes from all parts of Greece.

When still small she was carried off by Theseus，who wished to have a divine wife ．But she was rescued later by her brother Castor，and brought back to her native land．Her stepfather married her to Menelaus，king of Sparta．

Nothing of importance had happened to her married life until Paris came to visit Sparta．Helen was attracted by Paris' lovely face．They stole one another's love in the absence of Menelausand then eloped on board a ship to Troy．Helen left her young daughter behind．To get Helen back，the Greek army sailed across and laid a long siege to the city of Troy ．

Helen was quietly weaving her story into a web of golden carpet one day when she was called up the city walls of Troy to look at the fighting between Menelaus and Paris．Menelaus was determined to kill Paris in the battle．Sitting by the side of King Priam，she told the chiefs of the Greek side to him．Tears of love filled up her eyes when she saw her first husband down below．After Paris fled the field she had the feelings of love and scorn．She encouraged Hector and Paris to take the field again and sincerely mourned the death of the true hero Hector. But when Odysseus and Diomedes came in disguise to steal the Palladium，she helped them to do so as much as she could．After Paris died in battle she became the wife of another son of Priam．

In the meantime Menelaus was anxiously searching for Helen in the ruined palaces of Troy．Aphrodite had made Helen more beautiful，so that，when he finally found her trembling in a corner，Menelaus was most unwilling to bring his sword down on her charming face．Menelaus felt secretly overjoyed to have his wife back again．Following Menelaus through the ruins of the city，Helen felt ashamed of her impure behaviour．And she was truly scared at the terrible fate she was to have in the Greek Camp．

Once more her beauty saved her．No one could bring him self to thrust his sword into such a charming and graceful lady．In the tent of Menelaus she threw herself at the feet of the Spartan king，asking for forgiveness ．Moved by the scene，Menelaus helped her up and let her forget the past．He held her in his arms while she had tears of grief and happiness．The pair loved each other like before and vanished in the far west．

海伦是世上最美丽的女人。她也是一位臭名昭著的女人。她点燃了特洛伊的战火，并给特洛伊城造成了巨大的破坏。海伦是宙斯的女儿。她无可匹敌的美丽和魁力使希腊各地的英雄们都迷恋于她。她小的时候被提修斯掠走。提修斯想有一个神性的妻子。但后来海伦被其兄卡斯特救出，带回到了故土。海伦的继父将她嫁给了斯巴达的国王墨涅劳斯。

在帕利斯来访斯巴达之前，海伦的婚姻生活比较平静。海伦被帕利斯可爱的面容迷住。当墨涅劳斯国王不在时，他们就相互偷情，之后一起乘船私奔到了特洛伊城。海伦将幼小的女儿留在了斯巴达。为了夺回海伦，希腊军队越过海峡，将特洛伊城紧紧包围。

一天正当海伦静静地将自己的经历编织成一块金色的地毯时，有人叫她在特洛伊城上观看墨涅劳斯和帕利斯的决斗。墨涅劳斯决心杀死帕利斯。坐在皮安姆国王旁边，她将希腊一方的首领告诉了国王。当她看到城墙下前夫的身影时，爱的热泪流满了眼帘。帕利斯战败逃离战场后，她的感觉是既爱又卑视。她鼓励海格特和帕利斯再次走上战场，并真诚地为真正的英雄海格特的死而哀痛。但当奥德修斯和狄俄墨德斯化装后来偷窃雅典娜神像时，她竭尽全力帮助了她们。帕利斯战死后，她成了皮安姆国王另一个儿子的妻子。

与此同时墨涅劳斯焦急地在毁坏的特洛伊宫中寻找海伦。爱神阿芙罗狄蒂使海伦变得更美丽了。结果当墨涅劳斯终于发现躲在角落中发抖的海伦时，极不情愿将利剑刺向她那迷人的面孔。而他内心正为夺回海伦暗自高兴，海伦跟随墨涅劳斯穿过特洛伊城的废墟，她深为自己的不洁行为感到耻辱。一想到自己将在希腊军营中遭受的命运，她就心惊胆颤。

她的美丽再次拯救了她。没有人能忍心将剑刺向令人销魂，妩媚动人的女子之身。在墨涅劳斯的帐篷中，海伦跪在斯巴达国王的脚下，乞求饶恕。看到眼前的情形，墨涅劳斯深受感动，他扶起海伦，让她忘掉过去的一切。墨涅劳斯将她抱起来时，海伦的两眼流出幸福与悲伤的泪水。他们俩像以前那样相爱，一同消失在遥远的西方。 提问人的追问 2010-02-02 19:46 …好长…有些单词不认识… 回答人的补充 2010-02-05 12:37 Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似

18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。

我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

这个行吗

〔希腊神话〕海伦（中英对照）

[日期：2007-10-19] 来源： 作者： [字体：大 中 小]
Helen

Helen was the most beautiful woman of the world．She was an infamous lady．She lighted the flames of the Trojan war and brought extreme destruction on the city of Troy．Helen was the daughter of Zeus．Helen's matchless beauty and charms drew towards her many heroes from all parts of Greece.

When still small she was carried off by Theseus，who wished to have a divine wife ．But she was rescued later by her brother Castor，and brought back to her native land．Her stepfather married her to Menelaus，king of Sparta．

Nothing of importance had happened to her married life until Paris came to visit Sparta．Helen was attracted by Paris' lovely face．They stole one another's love in the absence of Menelausand then eloped on board a ship to Troy．Helen left her young daughter behind．To get Helen back，the Greek army sailed across and laid a long siege to the city of Troy ．

Helen was quietly weaving her story into a web of golden carpet one day when she was called up the city walls of Troy to look at the fighting between Menelaus and Paris．Menelaus was determined to kill Paris in the battle．Sitting by the side of King Priam，she told the chiefs of the Greek side to him．Tears of love filled up her eyes when she saw her first husband down below．After Paris fled the field she had the feelings of love and scorn．She encouraged Hector and Paris to take the field again and sincerely mourned the death of the true hero Hector. But when Odysseus and Diomedes came in disguise to steal the Palladium，she helped them to do so as much as she could．After Paris died in battle she became the wife of another son of Priam．

In the meantime Menelaus was anxiously searching for Helen in the ruined palaces of Troy．Aphrodite had made Helen more beautiful，so that，when he finally found her trembling in a corner，Menelaus was most unwilling to bring his sword down on her charming face．Menelaus felt secretly overjoyed to have his wife back again．Following Menelaus through the ruins of the city，Helen felt ashamed of her impure behaviour．And she was truly scared at the terrible fate she was to have in the Greek Camp．

Once more her beauty saved her．No one could bring him self to thrust his sword into such a charming and graceful lady．In the tent of Menelaus she threw herself at the feet of the Spartan king，asking for forgiveness ．Moved by the scene，Menelaus helped her up and let her forget the past．He held her in his arms while she had tears of grief and happiness．The pair loved each other like before and vanished in the far west．

海伦是世上最美丽的女人。她也是一位臭名昭著的女人。她点燃了特洛伊的战火，并给特洛伊城造成了巨大的破坏。海伦是宙斯的女儿。她无可匹敌的美丽和魁力使希腊各地的英雄们都迷恋于她。她小的时候被提修斯掠走。提修斯想有一个神性的妻子。但后来海伦被其兄卡斯特救出，带回到了故土。海伦的继父将她嫁给了斯巴达的国王墨涅劳斯。

在帕利斯来访斯巴达之前，海伦的婚姻生活比较平静。海伦被帕利斯可爱的面容迷住。当墨涅劳斯国王不在时，他们就相互偷情，之后一起乘船私奔到了特洛伊城。海伦将幼小的女儿留在了斯巴达。为了夺回海伦，希腊军队越过海峡，将特洛伊城紧紧包围。

一天正当海伦静静地将自己的经历编织成一块金色的地毯时，有人叫她在特洛伊城上观看墨涅劳斯和帕利斯的决斗。墨涅劳斯决心杀死帕利斯。坐在皮安姆国王旁边，她将希腊一方的首领告诉了国王。当她看到城墙下前夫的身影时，爱的热泪流满了眼帘。帕利斯战败逃离战场后，她的感觉是既爱又卑视。她鼓励海格特和帕利斯再次走上战场，并真诚地为真正的英雄海格特的死而哀痛。但当奥德修斯和狄俄墨德斯化装后来偷窃雅典娜神像时，她竭尽全力帮助了她们。帕利斯战死后，她成了皮安姆国王另一个儿子的妻子。

与此同时墨涅劳斯焦急地在毁坏的特洛伊宫中寻找海伦。爱神阿芙罗狄蒂使海伦变得更美丽了。结果当墨涅劳斯终于发现躲在角落中发抖的海伦时，极不情愿将利剑刺向她那迷人的面孔。而他内心正为夺回海伦暗自高兴，海伦跟随墨涅劳斯穿过特洛伊城的废墟，她深为自己的不洁行为感到耻辱。一想到自己将在希腊军营中遭受的命运，她就心惊胆颤。

她的美丽再次拯救了她。没有人能忍心将剑刺向令人销魂，妩媚动人的女子之身。在墨涅劳斯的帐篷中，海伦跪在斯巴达国王的脚下，乞求饶恕。看到眼前的情形，墨涅劳斯深受感动，他扶起海伦，让她忘掉过去的一切。墨涅劳斯将她抱起来时，海伦的两眼流出幸福与悲伤的泪水。他们俩像以前那样相爱，一同消失在遥远的西方。本回答被网友采纳