第1个回答 2011-01-04
写得不错!
不知道是要用到什么层面的.本回答被网友采纳
第2个回答 2011-01-04
I’m passionate about traveling.. When I was a child, my dad used to take me outside,WHICH let me fall in love with travelling..
In the journey, I can not only enjoy visiting many wonderful scenery, but also can meet different people as well. We share our dreamS, storIES and experienceS. In thAT way, I HAVE KNOWN AND can know more about the world. Also I make so many new friends during MY journeyS.
What’s more, I can’t bear to stay at the same place, doing the same thing everyday. This kind of life makes me sick and bored. Only in the journey, can I feel life is great.
However, travelling is wonderful, but I ALWAYS FEEL SAD AT the end of a journey (always makes me sad 去掉括号里的). Every time when I say goodbye to the friends WHO I MEET IN MY TRAVEL (who travel with me 去掉), I can’t stop CRYING, because we have so many good time together and I don’t want to be apart.
Anyway, THE travel around the world is my dream. NOTHING WOULD STOP ME. OR I WOULD KEEP WALKING(I won’t stop it!]
大写是我给的建议,其实你写的很好,只是我感觉改动的地方更符合西方人的表达方式,不过每个人都有自己的写作风格和习惯,仅供参考。
第3个回答 2011-01-04
潇湘风月的回答很专业!I can know more about the world改成 i get to know more about the world会更好些
第4个回答 2011-01-04
第三行:
scenery前面用many修饰,应该用复数吧?
but also 后面的can去掉
第四行:
as well建议去掉
dreams, stories and experiences用复数
建议know换成learn
第五行:
Also建议用at the same time
第八行:
journey后面逗号去掉
I can’t stop to cry -》I can't stop crying
最后一行
travel around the world > traveling around the world
第5个回答 2011-01-04
I can not only enjoy visiting many (改成a lot of, scenery不可数名词) wonderful scenery... share our dream(dreams), story (stories)...
Also I make so many....... ---- I also make so many .....
doing the same thing every----do the same thing every
can I feel life is great ---- I can feel life is great
I can’t stop to cry---I can’t stop crying...
we have so many good time together ---we have so much good time together
基本是这些,都是些简单的语法错误,平时多加注意就能避免的。
总体写的不错,加油!
.
第6个回答 2011-01-04
my dad used to take me outside and that let me fall in love with travelling..
这一句应该改为非限制定语从句:my dad used to take me outside ,which let me fall in love with travelling..
many wonderful scenery 改为 much wonderful views , scenery 是个不可数名词
but also can meet different people as well. ,这儿的can已经好无意义,需划掉;并不是与前面那个can 成对比,只是 not only,but also 后面接的词性才因对称, not only Dad ,but also mother ,接的是名词,也可以是动词、形容词
I can’t bear to stay at the same place, doing the same thing everyday,这儿的doing亦应该与stay成并列所以需用原型
many good time 错
这篇文章除了还有时态问题,安排的有些不合理,所以得不到高分(别介意),还得多练习;我的水平也不是很高,不能为你详细、清楚的查找。