谁帮我看看这篇英语作文有没有什么错误，谢谢，有错帮忙说下正确句子。感谢！
Dear Zhang Jing:
Hello!
I know tomorrow is your birthday .I hope you will have a wonderful birthday . But I’m so sorry I can’t come to your birthday party .Because in these days ,I’m very busy.
In the morning , I usually get up very early , at about 8 o’clock .Then ,at about 8:40 ,I have to go to the Children’s Palace to learn physics .The lessons begin at 9’00 . After the class , it ‘s 10’40 . Then I should go home to do my homework . It used me half past one hours .
In the afternoon ,I have to clean my house and do much housework .That always makes me feel so tired .And I can watch TV for one hour . At 4:00p.m. ,I always go to my neighbour’s house to look after their child , Liu Yulin .The child is only 3 years old . He is so naughty ,so it’s vvery hard to look after him.
At night , I can play computer and watch TV , but it’s only for 2 hours .And I have also to go to bed early , at about 10:30.
My vacation is too busy ,so I don’t have any time,to come to your birthday party ,sorry . But I also brought a gift for you .What’s that? OK , I will let your friend Xue Ting to take it to you.
At last , I also say “ Happy birthday to you!”.
Yours ,
Wendy
在线等，英语好的回答！
Hello!
I know tomorrow is your birthday .I hope you will have a wonderful birthday .
(Since tomorrow is your birthday ,I hope you will have a wonderful day.)
(But去掉） I’m so sorry I can’t come （go）to your birthday party .Because（，because）I’m very busy (in )these days.
In the morning , I usually get up (very early , ）at about 8 o’clock .I have to go to the Children’s Palace to learn physics at 8:40 . The lessons begin at 9’00 . After the class , it ‘s 10’40 . Then I should go home and spend half an hour on my homework .In the afternoon ,I have to clean my house and do much housework .That always makes me feel so tired .And I can watch TV for one hour . At 4:00p.m. ,I always go to my neighbour’s house to look after their child , Liu Yulin .He is only 3 years old . He is very naughty ,so it’s vvery hard to look after him.
At night , I can play computer and watch TV , but it’s only for 2 hours .And I also have to go to bed early , at about 10:30.
My vacation is too busy ,so I don’t have any time to come to your birthday party ,sorry . (But）Yet I still havea gift for you .What’s that? OK , I will let your friend Xue Ting （to去掉） take it to you.
At last , （I also say “） Happy birthday to you!（”）.
Yours ,
Wendy
大致改了，有的直接改，没括出来
建议，so also then but very have to没必要用那么多
不要那么多逗号，把句子连起来，说话简洁点
LZ年纪应该不大，写成这样不错了
In the afternoon ,I have to clean my house and do much housework .That always makes me feel so tired .And I can watch TV for one hour . At 4:00p.m. ,I always go to my neighbour’s house to look after their child , Liu Yulin .The child is only 3 years old . He is so naughty ,so it’s vvery hard to look after him.
At night , I can play computer and watch TV , but it’s only for 2 hours .And I have also to go to bed early , at about 10:30.
My vacation is too busy ,so I don’t have any time,to come to your birthday party ,sorry . But I also brought a gift for you .What’s that? OK , I will let your friend Xue Ting to take it to you.
At last , I also say “ Happy birthday to you!”.
Yours ,
Wendy 总的来说一篇作文中最好不要一直用I 来开头这样整个文章失去了光彩如流水账一般，还有有些可以用从句的最好用从句这样显得你的语法水平高，分数就会高。
参考资料：egregia cum laude from pre-school DT
Hello!
I know tomorrow is your birthday .I hope you will have a wonderful birthday . But I’m so sorry I can’t come to your birthday party ，because I have a very busy schedule.
In the morning , I have to get up very early , at about 8 o’clock .Then , around 8:40 ,I have to go to the Children’s Palace to learn physics .The lessons begin at 9’00 . After the class , it ‘s almost 10’40 . Then I have to go home and do my homework . It will take me an hour and half.
In the afternoon ,I need to clean my house and do chores .That will always makes me feel tired, so I have to take a rest for about an hour after the housework. At 4:00p.m. ,I need go to my neighbour’s house to look after their child , Liu Yulin .The child is only 3 years old . He is very naughty , and you can imagine how hard it is for me to look after him.
At night , I use the computer and watch some TV , but it will only last for 2 hours .Then I have to go to bed at about 10:30.
As you can see, my summer time is very busy ,so I'm afraid I can't make it to your birthday party. I'm so sorry. But, I do have bought a gift for you . I will let our friend Xue Ting to bring it to you.
Happy birthday to you, Zhang Jing!
Yours ,
Wendy
Because I’m very busy in these days.
I usually get up very early in the morning , at about 8 o’clock
Then I have to go home to do my homework . It takes me an hour and half.
In the afternoon ,I have to clean my house and do housework.
And I also have to go to bed early , at about 10:30.
My vacation is too busy ,so I don’t have enough time to go to your birthday party
But I bought(这个是买,brought是带) a gift for you .Guess what’s that! I will let our friend Xue Ting bring it to you.
Happy birthday to you!
比上篇好，但是还是有好多SO。。so 的我很晕
我觉得LZ是小学或者初1学生吧 就别又从句又各种高级词了，许多用法人家可能还没学过吧 改改语法错误就好了嘛，用这些高级词不是害人被老师骂作弊哇
Hello!
I know tomorrow is your birthday .I hope you will have a wonderful day . But I’m so sorry but I can’t come to your birthday party since I’m very busy these days .
I usually get up at about 8 o’clock .Then ,at about 8:40 ,I have to go to the Children’s Palace to learn physics which begins at 9 a.m. After class , it ‘s 10’40 . Then I should go home to do my homework . It usually takes me half an hour .
In the afternoon ,I have to clean my house and do some housework .That always makes me feel so tired .However, I'm allowed to watch TV for one hour . At 4:00p.m. ,I often go to my neighbour’s house to look after their child , Liu Yulin who is only 3 years old .Well, He is so naughty that I can hardly take care of him.
At night , I can play computer and watch TV , but it’s only for 2 hours .And I'm expected to go to bed early , at about 10:30.You see,my vacation is so busy that I don’t have any time to come to your party .Though, I have brought a gift for you .What’s that? OK , I will let your friend Xue Ting to take it to you.
At last , Iwant to say “ Happy birthday to you!”.
Yours ,
Wend
注意连词、从句的使用
对了，第二句头一个but 去掉 还有Wendy,和bought
参考资料：原创
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