研究生复试英语自我介绍，请帮忙修改指正，谢谢
Good morning. I am glad to be here for this interview. My name is CY. My hometown is SHANDONG Province which has a long and glorious history.I will graduate from the administrative management department of HB University in July,2010.During my college time,I have been working hard on my study and preparing for the postgraduate examination. I had won the top scholarships for many times,took part in the English speaking contests and successfully accomplished a social science research which entitled privatization of public utilities and social equity. Now all my hard work has got a result since I have a chance to be here. I have a rigorous scholarship and am very thorough in my studies . I believe that such kind of attitude would help me improve further academic pursuit if I am given a chance to study in this famous university.
Frankly speaking, I have been dreaming about studying administrative management in University of International Business and Economics when I was a freshman. Because department in this university perfectly combine professional theories with government’s daily affairs, especially affairs involved with customs and commerce . And I am long for doing research in this area throughout my life. Since our government is facing the trasformation of the society,it is necessary for us to find out potencial problems as well as proper approaches to solve them.
IF I am admitted to study here, I have the following plans : Initially, I hope I can form systematic view of administrative management. As for professions, my express wish is to get a complete comprehension of the formation and development of customs management. In a word, I am looking forward to making a solid foundation for future profession after two years study here.
这是全部的介绍，是不是太短了啊？还需要补充吗？
My hometown is taian city ,which is a beautiful city in shangdong province .你直接说山东不好，范围太大。
successfully accomplished a social science research which entitled privatization of public utilities and social equity. 这一句感觉太长，而且单词不好读，如果发音不好，老师可能不会明白它的意思。慎用(可以说的慢一点)或修改。
严谨的学术态度 rigorous academic attitudes。scholarship不行。
学习经历那段没大的毛病，还可以吧。
研究生计划写的不好，说了那么多，基本就一个计划，而且感觉行文那么别扭呢。给你一段，据此修改下：
If luckily I got the chance to learn environment engineering in Tongji University,I will concentrate on the study and research in this field. First,I will learn the theoretical knowledge deeply ,constructing a solid base for my future work；Second,I would like to do some practical work with the help of my professor and classmates. And through this,I can get something that cannot be acquired from the textbooks. I believe after 2 years of learning,my dream will finally come true……
总体来说还可以，审完两个感觉，用词有些偏，不能以为普通的词就不好，不是英语专业的，能介绍的明白、无误就是好。二是有的句子太长，跟写作文似的，不适合口语，如果非要这样，那就要慢点说，一定要让老师明白你的意思。these are my advices.
不要虎头蛇尾啊，就像过了初试，就不好好准备复试了，这可不行的。
