请各位高手帮我批改一下初中英语作文

要求:假如你是明明,您父亲长期在外工作,父亲节快到了,你很想念父亲,很感谢父亲给了你一个温暖的家,让你过着幸福的生活。请根据提示内容,给父亲写一封电子邮件。
注意:1.短文必须包括所有要点2.可适当发挥3.60-80字

Dear father,
How are you?Father's Day is coming soon.Are U okay this days?I miss you very much at this time of the year. I know ,because of your work and for me a better life,you have to be away from our family.But it seems that you always beside in my heart.Thank you for giving me so prefect life.I am very happy with u .You show me what is deep as sea.I will work hard to make you feel warm.
Please take good of yourself.I will always love u.
love,
Mingming

My Dear Father:

How are You?

Father's Day is coming soon. I miss you so much at this time of the year. I understand that you have to be away from our home due to your work in order to let me have a better living. But, you are always in my heart. Thank you for giving me a perfect life. I am very proud of you. You have shown me what is as deep as the sea. I will study hard to appreciate your contribution.

Please take care of yourself.

Lovely yours,

Mingming.
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第1个回答  2009-06-16
1.第3句错了,是these days 不是this days
2.Thank you for giving me so prefect life.
改成such a perfect life
3.Please take good of yourself
错了,take good care of
4.I will always love u
改成 I will love you forever更好
5.I know ,because of your work and for me a better life,you have to be away from our family.
这句话念起来不顺,改成I know that you have to be away from our family
to work because you'd like to give me a better life.
6.应该是Fathers' Day 你第2句错了。
我只能改这些了
第2个回答  2009-06-16
Father's————Fathers’
this--these
at this time of the year。。。没搞懂你想说啥。。。。我猜是recently。。。
and for me a better life------that led me to live a better life。。。。。(说实话。。这句。。。)

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。对不起了。。太多错了。。。改不下去了。。加油啊
第3个回答  2009-06-16
还可以I will always love u.
will 去掉会比较好
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