爱国的小品剧本

爱国主义的小品。!!!急要

《我祖国最牛》编剧:王志攀:

人物:主持人(漂亮美女)、中国人(穷二代)、日本人(鬼子进村打扮,斗鸡眼,背着刺刀)、美国人(女人,男人反串!假发、大胸、大屁股!)、南非人(黑人,黑的跟鬼一样,牙白眼白)、颁奖小姐。

入场:

主持人:观众朋友们大家好!欢迎收看我们的大型真人秀综艺节目---我祖国最牛。我是主持人:谢娜娜!我们节目一经播出后呢,一夜蹿红,收视率已经突破了百分之200!迅速受到了海内外各界的强烈好评与关注!

同时,美国总统奥巴马,以及委内瑞拉、埃塞俄比亚政府都在第一时间向本节目发来贺电!对我们《我祖国最牛》节目给与支持和肯定!本期节目,我们栏目组的总导演---X总!邀请到的嘉宾分别是来自美国、日本、索马里以及我们中-国的四个代表!他们将在本场节目中证明谁的祖国最牛!下面请四位嘉宾选手登场!

美国人上,恶搞版迈克杰克逊舞步!向大家飞吻!

日本人鬼子进村模样,鬼鬼祟祟,弯着腰,东张西望。(2B状)

非洲人上,手舞足蹈,突然摔倒,尴尬、很糗!尴尬的笑,露出白牙!

主持人:有请我们的第四位选手!我们天下牛人节目的年度冠军!网络红人,传说中玉树临风,美貌与智慧并重的——穷二代!

穷二代上,吃着糖葫芦!很吊的模特步,得意、嚣张!书包上写着“穷二代”

穷二代转身,背上写着“小康了”。

主持人:好!这次节目呢!我们共分为三个环节!第一个环节呢!依然是喊口号,竞选宣言。第二个环节是智商比拼,智力抢答!第三个环节是我们大家一起来评选出选手中年度最牛的祖国!场外的观众朋友,可以拿起你手中的手机,编辑短信“你心中最牛祖国”发送洞拐洞拐洞洞拐,马上参与!也可以拨打我们屏幕下方的热线电话,进行投票!下面有请四位选手喊出他们的口号和竞选宣言!

美国人:美国人(生硬的国外普通话):哈喽!大家好!我叫露丝!随时欢迎大家去我的祖国America!(飞吻,)我的竞选口号是:美国总统奥巴马,他老婆是我舅妈!我们想打谁就打谁!

日本人:米娜桑,孔你七娃!大家好!我是来自日本的皇军!我叫松下五次郎!请大家多多关照(鞠躬)!我的竞选口号是:靖国神社是我家!小泉纯一郎最伟大!我们想骂谁就骂谁!

非洲人(对观众):你们好白啊!你们用的是什么化妆品啊?我是来自非洲的麦佳莎!(笑,露出白牙)我喜欢你们!我的竞选口号是:欢迎来到索马里,把你晒成非洲鸡!我们想抢谁就抢谁!

穷二代:大家好!我是你们的同胞——穷二代!我的竞选口号是:儿不嫌母丑!狗不嫌家贫!不管我的祖国是什么样!她在我心中都是最牛的!有空我要上咱们的钓鱼岛上钓几条鱼!

主持人:好!下面是竞选口号!

美国人:美国是我家!世界第四大!军事巨无霸!经济最发达!

麦当劳阿凡达!肯德基麦当娜!好莱坞的电影世界化!

NBA球赛,总让人牵挂!可口可乐把你们都喝成傻瓜!

超人浩克迪士尼!苹果谷歌瘟到死!盖茨科比乔布斯!

迈克梦露卢卡斯!猛禽鱼鹰无人机,

战斧激光电磁炮,航母宙斯三叉戟,

军事基地九百个!越南朝鲜伊拉克!

海湾反恐利比亚!我们是想打哪打哪!

想打谁就打谁!总之一句话!我们得意又嚣张!我们才是老大!

主持人:果然是够嚣张的!够欠扁的!

日本人:我叫松下五次郎!名字霸气又响亮!

长的猥琐又阳光!日本男人都这样!

国家政坛老动荡!野田佳彦是首相!

右翼分子猛抬头!帝国主义想扩张!

想起二战法西斯!日本皇军真风光!

看看现在自卫队!个个都吊儿郎当!

所以我这样打扮和着装!把皇军当成榜样和偶像!

女人骂我是混蛋!男人说我耍流氓!

医生说我精神反常!家人说我心灵受伤!

不管他们怎么说!我就是要这样!

八格牙路!(拼刺刀狠样)嘿!你还别说!就是爽(停顿)歪歪!

如果你要问我日本男人为什么会这样坚强?我会答:是的!我们都这样!我们被核辐射了!我们国家就跟核有缘!先是原zi弹,又是核电站!我告诉大家!被核辐射的人就相当于被驴踢了十万下!所以日本是最牛的!

主持人:是啊!你们是够结实的!

非洲人:我叫麦佳莎!索马里长大!天天背着枪!子弹身上挂!

打仗就像上个厕所!国家就像一团乱麻!

女人长得五颜六色!海盗就像交通警察!

海盗作风红火彪悍!所有女人抢着要嫁!

手里机枪肩上一背!有吃有喝又有钱拿!

不管你长得多么高大魁梧,一颗子弹随时就会结束你的短暂生涯!

我们进化最大特色!就是晚上只看见牙(咧嘴)!

我们最恨的化妆品!就是美白的欧莱雅!

不管世界几多变化!我们依然横行天下!

但是总结起来一句话!不管我们做海盗生前多么风光、红火!只有推进这个小炉子(比划火葬炉)的时候,才是人生中最红最火的一把!索马里海盗最强大!我们祖国最牛!

主持人:啊!是啊!是够牛的!光天化日的竟敢说出这样的话!

穷二代:我生在一个爱好和平的国家!男女老幼只遵从传统文化!

我们一直把龙的图腾高高挂!世上炎黄子孙都是一家!

我们没有高尖端的武器装备!一颗和平心能把雪融化!

我们的歌星里面没有麦当娜!只有邓丽君刘欢刘德华!

我们的童年时光没有迪士尼!我们只需回忆秋千木马!

我们没有肯德基可乐麦当劳!但我们喜欢饺子面条茶!

我们没有好战派的国家领导!他们只想知道我们吃啥!

我们不会欺负压榨任何国家!不会参拜放满木牌的小庙我们不会篡改历史事件真相!更不会私有化别国小岛!

我们虽然是一个爱好和平的国家!但是谁若犯我!我们必将以牙还牙!

钓鱼岛是中-国的!中-国才是钓鱼岛的家!

主持人:好!很有气势啊!我都被你深深震撼了!(对观众)好!我们的四位选手都分别作了竞选宣言!接下来进入我们的下一个环节!智力比拼、抢答!请四位选手各就各位!我来出题!你们来抢答!

主持人:第一环节!智力抢答!脑筋急转弯!传说中历史上第一个登上月球的人是谁?

美国人(举手,激动):阿波罗!我们美国的!

主持人:错!

穷二代:嫦娥!

主持人:恭喜你!答对了!加一分

穷二代:嫦娥比你们阿波罗早几百年!

主持人:恭喜中国队!本次节目中国队获得了最牛逼的称号!有请颁奖小姐颁奖! 

主持人:请中国队代表至获奖词! 穷二代:站在这领奖台上,我万分的激动,嗯。。。。。该说点啥好呢!嗯。。。。。。。中国雄起,中国最牛逼,我爱我的家,我爱我的祖国!

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第1个回答  推荐于2017-09-17
A Boy and His Tree男孩和树(图)
A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow… He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.

Time went by…The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree.

One day, the boy came back to the tree and looked sad. “Come and play with me,” the tree asked the boy.

“I am no longer a kid, I don’t’ play around trees anymore.” The boy replied, “I want toys. I need money to buy them.” “Sorry, but I don’t have money…but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.” The boy was so excited. He picked all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy didn’t come back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.

One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. “Come and play with me.” The tree said. “I don’t have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?” “Sorry, but I don’t’ have a house. But you can cut off my branches to build your house.” So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily.

The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy didn’t appear since then. The tree was again lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. “Come and play with me!” the tree said.

“I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?” “Use my trunk to build the boat. You can sail and be happy.” So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and did not show up for a long time.

Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. “Sorry, my boy. But I don’t’ have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you.” the tree said. “ I don’t have teeth to bite.” The boy replied. “ No more trunk for you to climb on.” “I am too old for that now.” the boy said. “I really want to give you something…the only thing left is my dying roots.” The tree said with tears. “I don’t’ need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years.” The boy replied. “Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest. Come here, please sit down with me and have a rest.” The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears…

This is a story of everyone. The tree is our parent. When we were young, we loved to play with Mom and Dad… When we grow up, we leave them, and only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could to make you happy. You may think that the boy is cruel to the tree but that''s how all of us are treating our parents.本回答被提问者采纳
第2个回答  2007-09-17
<糖醋活鱼>
第3个回答  2007-09-15
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